This Roller Coaster Ride called Obedience…

Throughout the Bible we hear about and are challenged with obedience. We grow-up hearing how we need to obey our parents and I have spent years telling my children, “If you aren’t able to listen, hear with your heart and obey me standing here in front of you, how will be able to listen, hear and obey, follow God?” 

I wish I understood that statement better then because this is hard for me as an adult …

Our pastor has been doing a sermon series out of Luke on Playing Games with God. When we don’t like what we hear from God, we do the same thing with Him that we do with everyone else in the world. We turn it around, barter or change the subject. You know you’ve done it! What if you were hearing God call you to be like be like Noah and do something that everyone around you literally looked at you like you were crazy or said, “Are you serious?” What if you took that situation and began to tell God, “So God, I will do this because I just know that this is just going to be another Abraham and Isaac thing, right? Because you just want to see if I will put you first…right?” What would happen if you then found out that wasn’t the case at all, but He was truly calling you to do this thing? To truly make a sacrifice, lay a life of a loved one on the altar, at His feet, and trust Him with them? What would you do if He was truly calling you to follow Him in an eccentric way?

In Matthew 4:19, Jesus says, “Follow me and I will make you Fisher’s of Men.” He was talking to Peter and Andrew. How did God use Andrew… How did he use Peter? (2 Peter 1)

Charles Spurgeon wrote on this in a paper. He said, “When Christ calls us by His grace we ought not only to remember what we are, but we ought also to think of what he can make us."

Do you not follow because you feel like Moses who stuttered and told God as much? What about David who was too small for his armor? Or John Mark who was rejected by Paul or Hosea who’s wife was a prostitute, or Amos’ only training was in the school of fig tree pruning, Solomon was too rich, Abraham who was too old, David who was too young, Peter who was afraid of death, Lazarus WAS dead, John was self-righteous, Naomi the widow, Paul who was a murderer as was Moses, Jonah ran from God, Miriam was a gossip, Gideon and Thomas both doubted, Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal, Elijah was burned out, Martha was a worrywart, Mary was lazy, Samson had short hair, Noah got drunk, Oh and MOSES…he had a short fuse, but then so did Peter and Paul! Have you used any of the excuses? Have you said, “Oh God you can’t possibly use me! Look at what I have done, who I was. Yes, I have always known you were calling me to a higher standard, but I didn’t want to listen and I made so many mistakes. You can’t possibly use me now.”
He made apostles, disciples, out of fisherman! You know those men who throw out their nets from the side of the boat? They were the ones that ‘were the founders of the churches out of peasants of Galilee’ Charles Spurgeon… these are the men & women who began the work in you! If He could do that with them, what can he do with you? How can He change the world with you? When we call on God’s grace, He can make music from someone who is tone deaf…if you will just trust and obey.  When He calls…will you hear Him? Will you respond? Will you Obey or will you barter or change the subject?

In John 21:1-17- Jesus was speaking with Simon, Peter, Thomas, Nathanael, sons of Zebedee, & 2 other disciples. Jesus gave them instructions…do something different. When they obeyed his directions they were overwhelmed by the blessings. Jesus asked Peter, “do you love me more than these?...Then Feed my lambs, take care of my sheep, feed my sheep.”  He asked 3x’s, “Peter, do you love me?” Peter was so sad that He asked that many times. Jesus called him to follow him. Jesus called him to not worry about what others are to do in vs 22. So what is stopping you from following Him when He calls?

In Numbers 11- This chapter is talking about the Manna. When J was 2, he and I were in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship International) together. We were studying Moses. One day we were in the car driving and he piped up with his precious little 2 yr old voice and said, “Momma? The people didn’t get it… the manna was God’s promise to them. He promised to give them what they needed. Why couldn’t they see that?” Blew me away. So in this chapter the Israelites are blinded to what He is providing and grumbling. Due to their dissatisfaction of what God had provided, they began to kill quail and serve that. In verse 33-34, God shows his anger with their disobedience and He struck them with a severe plague.

In Matthew 5:1-12 Jesus is giving the Sermon on the Mount. His apostles were gathered around. He is talking about who God blesses… the poor that find their needs met in God, those who mourn, the humble, those who hunger and thirst for justice, the merciful, those who hearts are pure, those who work for peace, those persecuted for doing right, those mocked, persecuted and lied about. Your reward is in Heaven. In verses 13-16, He is asking his apostles (you & me) to be salt of the earth… He is calling us to go out and leave people thirsting for more of Him so they will seek Him.

In Matthew 6:10- Jesus is begging His Father for His Will to be done on earth. He is asking God to HELP His people. He is talking to us… will we obey?

We are called to OBEY! When we listen and obey, His plan is fulfilled…  It’s easy to obey when we are called to pray for someone we care about, do something that will bless someone we like…what about when we are called to pray for someone we really have a hard time with or to do something for someone that tries our patience or calls us to step out of our comfort zone?

Do you say, “God use me” but, only when it’s comfortable for me? In Luke 21, Jesus talks about the widow’s mite… Give sacrificially…usually that’s tithing in our minds. What if the sacrifice is a stepping out of our comfort zone for the Glory of God?

Ok so all of this came because as I stated before… sometimes, Obedience is like a large pill that’s hard to swallow. I am standing on God’s promises that He will shower us and our children for generation with blessings for our obedience. (Deut 28:1-14)

We ARE in the business of breaking familial curses! (Deut 28:15-68) Watch-out here we come! J

Remember when I asked you earlier about a little talk you have had with God over the whole past mistakes? Think back to that time…you know when you were in the middle of making bad choices, choosing to not choose His way, but your own… Can you see it? Look back at the people that were in your life then. Ok, here is an example…

TRANSPARENCY ALERT… STOP READING NOW IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE DETAILS!!!  

About a year and half ago, I remember thinking, “I am worthless. God you can’t even use me. It was right after(literally) I met my best girl friend (precious woman). She and I were in the process of growing really close.  When our paths met, I was kinda hanging out with a guy friend that was good friends with them. I had broken up with my on and off again boyfriend about 5 months earlier, but still talking to him here and there. The night she and I met, I knew that I was meeting up with him to convince him that I was done…I KNOW, I know! HUGE, I mean HUGE mistake on my part. Yes, as you are probably rolling your eyes because you even see it coming… he asked me for one more chance and by the end of the evening I said ok.  As soon as I said it, I felt sick to my stomach. I was so frustrated with myself. I didn’t talk to anyone for a while, but I knew I needed to talk to this new friend. CRAZY, but she still wanted to be my friend. She stood beside me as she watched my heart break over and over again. She was there to walk me down the aisle of church for prayer from Pastor Arnita on Mother’s Day. She was there the many “fights” that came through the next year and half. The funny part is, I kept telling God you can’t use me…look at how much of a mess I am. Do you know that I prayed with her, over her, for her and her sweet husband and children. I was there for their children’s big events to love on them so they knew how special I was. I was on the other end of the phone telling her the enemy was at work and to get on her knees when there was a tension in the home, someone was encouraging lack of self worth thoughts, etc. I backed them as parents by correcting their children and encouraging their children to show love to each other first as a blending family. Today, their family is miles ahead of where they were. Ok, FIRST, did I do this? PLEASE, hear me CLEARLY… IN NO WAY DID I DO ANYTHING. This was not me. Remember that I already told you that I was very clear that God was not able to use me. I had already informed Him of this. I was simply telling you, that God used EVEN me. I didn’t realize this until earlier this year. This past November, God brought me to my knees and said, “Wendi, if you will follow me. Do not turn back…keep walking toward me. I have so much, beyond your dreams, for you THIS YEAR. Follow me.” Then, almost as though He was showing off... He showed me all he has used me for. If God could use me divorced, single mother of 3 children, who wasn’t lovable enough to make her marriage work nor any other relationship… He CAN USE YOU…  

The Roller Coaster of a Walk with God...

Well, so much has happened since my last post! He asked and I said yes, we've been married two months today. We now have a complete family of 8. This life is like walking out your best dream. I am finally in that blissful romance with an amazing man who loves me like Christ loves the church, in a sacrificial way. We are watching God call us down a path that is clear which steps to take.

So this morning, as I walked out of the house to take the elementary route to school and it was, brace yourself, sprinkling! We were astonished! My flowers are loving it! Just look...

Side note: If you notice the flowers one the left vs the ones on the right. The ones on the left were planted by David and the ones on the right were planted by me... I could not understand WHY MINE WEREN'T GROWING THE SAME AS HIS. After several jabs about how much tender-love-n-care he gave them vs me, it dawned on him weeks later that he had done an experiment months ago on the soil with Miracle Grow. Needless to say, I went and got some Miracle Grow for mine too! ;)

Ok, back  to the walk! :)

Once I took the girls and J, I didn't know what to do with myself. I've been a little unsettled and not really sure how to settle it. God has called us to take a step of faith, trust Him, Obey Him... as a child, I always wanted to please my parents and even now, I want to please my Father, but sometimes when He calls me to do something (even when He is very clear) I want to sit in the floor and say, "It's not fair, I don't want to." As soon as I received confirmation that there was no doubt we were supposed to say "yes", I did because I knew if I waited the human side of me would come back and say, "Wait, I was just kidding." I have felt bad about crying and saying "but, God" through the last couple of weeks. I felt like that was a sign of weakness, distrust that God knows what's best or maybe even a sign that I wasn't a good Christian because, it is so hard to take this step.

When I got back to the house from the rounds, I texted my DH and said, "Going for a long walk with God, not sure where I'm going, how long I'll be. I'll have my phone, but hoping not to use it." He texted back, "I love you, Wendi and I'm praying for you." He has watched me struggle and seen/felt the tears and seen the doubt. As I was preparing for this walk I put on my faithful 11 yr old tennis shoes, running shorts and tank top. The verse "Better is one day in Your courts, than thousands else where" came to mind and I began to sing the song, almost as though I was trying to remind myself.

Shoes on...  started walking, putting on my favorite station on Pandora and ear buds in and just walked. I didn't really notice a lot as I started. The first thing I noticed as I was walking was, out of the songs I had heard on my favorite Praise and Worship station, I had only recognized one song as of yet that was encouraging from God's perspective... We need to praise God, we need to talk to Him like we talk to our best friend, but a conversation is a 2-way street. It calls us to listen as much if not more than we talk. It is easy for me to get lost in the songs where I am praising God for what He has done for me. It is easy for me to talk to Him, but this walk was about me listening instead of talking...

It was what I needed to hear and began fighting the tears. (In a house full of 8 people, you would definitely think I would not feel alone.) The lyrics are amazing and truly spoke to what only He could hear my heart saying. "Lord, I know I won't be alone, defeated, or the same. Your voice calls me...that's why I'm on this walk with you. I can't focus on you when I look around and see all that needs to be done. Thank you for calling me out to walk with you. Thank you for loving me when I was not lovable, for drawing me to this precious man and the children you have given us. This step you have called us to is a little overwhelming at moments.  Thank you that YOU are calling me to your side and that I am not alone." As I was typing this, the tears began to flow again. This song and the words carried me through the next half a mile or so, while I processed that He was there to wipe away the fear of the unknown. I began to contemplate why can't I just see that everything is going to be ok?
A few minutes later as I rounded a corner from a protected, short side street (that didn't really tell me how far I had gone, even though my legs were burning). I saw our church at the top of a small hill. As I went further, in front of me was the main street that drives through our town (VERY busy street by the way), just across the busy street, big as day was what I had seen before, our church, to the left further away from home, but to the right was the sidewalk that would take me along that busy street back to the house. I heard Him say, take a right daughter. This street, it has an amazing hill that when we are driving the girls giggle because, it makes their tummy flip you know like on a roller coaster. It is fun in the car but when you are looking at it on foot... well it's a little over whelming.

As I took that right, I began to not focus on the hill, but on the music that was playing in my ears...ok, maybe my lips were moving too! I began to concentrate on cars passing by and making sure I wasn't close to them and each step. I heard, "Wendi, if I showed you the full path ahead of you all the hills and valleys, cracks in the sidewalks and the pot holes in the roads, you would get so overwhelmed you would forget that I am incontrol and have a plan." The steps quickly took me to a side street right before our town square that took me to the back street I had been on before. (Mind you, I'm new to this town and haven't really taken the time to drive around to acquaint myself.)  As I walked and got onto a back, back road I began to sing out loud. As the music played I couldn't help myself.

I got caught up in the words... when "I see the King of Glory, the whole world shakes. .. The people sing, the people sing. Hosanna, Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest." I could not stop singing it! All of a sudden, I looked up and saw where I was... a lot closer to home and a beautiful view...

I love the covering of mature trees, the ones that drape over a drive. It was comforting to me. As I continued to sing as I walked back to the house, I didn't care that people were staring, I had received understanding...not all the answers, just understanding.

Several more songs played, but one that I loved was...

 

So, today I hear you Lord. I know you are the light on path and the strength to walk it and I praise you. Thank you for choosing to spend time with me, Lord! Thanks for talking a walk with me.