When you think of Thanksgiving, what do you think of? 

Food

Family 

Nature Changing

Is it the things you value the most

The things or people you miss the most? 

Are you happy or sad? 

Does the thought of being with your family make you anxious? 

I would start planning for Thanksgiving in September in years past. I LOVE spending time with my family and friends. I love the kick-off of Fall because, it means baking and food and family time with the people who mean the most to me. In that same breath, I would have to admit that it also brings grief and tears. Thanksgiving was the last holiday we spent as a 'whole family' with my grandfather and at the farm. We have neither of these today. 

I love this man, my Dedaw. 

This is what I see in my minds eye, when I think of the holidays. This is my family so many years ago and yes that is me on the right waving at the camera. 

I am a BLESSED woman. I have so many years of memories with each of these people. My great-grandmothers (the two older women on the right), what wisdom they hold. My Aunts and Uncles, grandparents, cousins and ALL my extended family. 

The farm was a place where I got to know these people, learned to shoot, fish, hunt, bake, put puzzles together, play Rummicube, heard stories from generations after generations and learned to love in a way that many do not understand and learned the love of our Lord and Savior through years of wisdom. These people have all endured life harder than you and I could imagine. Oh how I strive to live a life that matters and would make each of these people proud. 

So, why has Thanksgiving changed this year for me? I'd like to know the same thing. :) 

Maybe it's that eating isn't as much fun anymore and it's just flat harder to cook. Maybe it's that all the kids are gone. Maybe it's that my precious hubby and I are going to serve Thanksgiving to those less fortunate this year instead of eating with family, or maybe it's that life is so different now. I live a life today that is so different than in years past. I use to only dream of being loved and cherished in a way that I am today. I use to only dream of living a life as blessed as I do today. I use to dream that some day I would be something, worth something to somebody. The funny part is I always was something to someone...just not to me. It didn't have to do so much with the people around me, but the way I saw myself. Yes, I had a biological father who walked away. Yes, I chose to be involved with guys who reinforced the lack of self-confidence. I chose not to pursue my goals. What is different today? Honestly, I was shown who I am, my value and the potential I possess therefore, others see my value and potential! It wasn't that my immediate family didn't instill my value or build me up... because, they loved me in an amazing way and told me how precious I was/am. They told me how smart I was/am. I just heard a small voice that told me all the bad and as I began to hit walls in school and with people, I began to believe it! 

Today, I am setting goals and reaching them. I am living a life with challenges that I hear people daily say, "I do not know how you do it". Between health issues, being a StepMom and Mom to 6, a wife, student, creating a new career, volunteering in our community both in our church and politically I am a busy woman. But as one of our 8th grade students in our Sunday School Class recently pointed out, when you put Jesus first, Others second and then Yourself, you can't help but live a life full of JOY and thanksgiving. 

So maybe it's just that this Thanksgiving is no different that any other day of this year!

Praying that you will find a daily life filled with Thanksgiving and Pure Joy.